how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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