How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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