fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
