Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
