Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
