Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Randomize
