you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
