Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Randomize
