Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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