did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
