So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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