It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
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