i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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