yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize
