She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
I will be naked everywhere
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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