So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Randomize
