ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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