So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
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