I'm gonna have a badass scar
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
