He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
