just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
