let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
