I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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