David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
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