I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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