we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
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