How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Randomize
