So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
