Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
