My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I CAN MOONWALK!
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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