The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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