too bad you live with your parents still
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
