RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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