If i come over, it means nothing
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
