So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
birth control should be required to get into college
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
