WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
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