I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
