Can Purell be used as lube?
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
