That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Houston, we have a squirter
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
