Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Floor bacon is actually really good
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
