Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
