ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
