Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
