Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Randomize