After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I have aggressive nipples.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Randomize
