Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
that's an acceptable place to lick
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Quick, to the slutcave!
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I lost the right to judge tonight
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Randomize
