This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
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