just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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