so explain again why im purple
no
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
