so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
